Mar 6, 2012

Rough Waters

Well its been a rough couple of weeks. We found out we were pregnant on Feb 9th, It was shock and surprise and yet still somehow exciting. We figured we were about 7 weeks. We went to the doc and and the first u/s only dated us at about 4. Then with continued u/s the baby continued to grow at a slow pace. Were not quite sure when but the baby had stopped growing. We knew the end was near and we tried to greive. I was to go on March 9th for another ultrasound to confirm. On Saturday March 3rd, I was laying in bed and began to have some weird cramping. I thought hmm. this can and cant be normal. I was only spotting a bit so I didnt think too much of it. Well the cramps got worse and I went into the bathroom because I felt I had to pee, and bam, a giant clot had passed, I called my mother and she stayed on the phone with me. It turns out that I was in fact going into full on LABOR in my bathroom, the contractions were every minute and they hurt like a son of a bitch, and after each one I would pass more clots. By an hour I had passed about 2 pints of blood. It was very painful and I would not wish this on anyone. Sunday I mainly rested, I had a hard time even staying awake, and the pain was still intense. I called the doc first thing monday morning and after arguing with the nurse about going the ER, we were able to see the doc at 1. He took one look at me and my fever and knew something was wrong. He did a quick ultrasound and saw that I had retained most of the placenta and was having a possible infection and could be turning septic. So off to the hospital we went for an emergency D&E, while I was in the room waiting for the surgery to begin, the pain was getting worse. Eventually the surgery began and I awoke nauseous and of course tired. Today I am home bruised and resting, Im on bed rest for the next few days and trying to recover both physically and emotionally.

Its really hard to understand why all of this happened. I feel like It was hit after hit, I lost my wedding diamond out of my ring on our anniversary ( march 1) and I couldn't help but laugh, what more could go wrong... boy was I surprised that just two days later Id be in so much pain. So not only did I loose a baby, I lost my diamond all in one week. Also we have to watch my blood levels due to the anemia and auto immune disease as well ( NO TRANSFUSIONS)

This whole experience has of course caused some changes with the family and home dynamics, We decided that for right now it will be best if Sam would go to public school. We are very lucky and are zoned for one of the top rated schools around. He has had one week and LOVES it. I feel like hes excelling and will be able to adjust well. This means Lilah gets some one on one time with mommy, she even had her first real manicure at a nail shop :)

And with talking to my professor, we decided that it would be best to drop one of my classes for now and re take it again soon. I am still on schedule to graduate soon, just may take an extra semester. :( But I must do whats best for my health and family. This is tough work and I feel like I am strong and I can get through it.

Everyday I know just how lucky I am to have such a supportive husband, mother, sisters and friends. I am lucky to have my two beautiful children as well. We will see what the year brings, but for now.... I rest.


Donna Harn said...

much love to you and your family, bri. i'm so sorry for your loss and your pain. i hope you feel better very soon. rest well and be well. you are in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

We met at retreat year before last. I too have had a rough go lately, but my heart just ached to hear of your loss and pain. Though we are not very familiar I want you to know that you and your family are in my continued thoughts and prayers. All my love,

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